I try to use every bad event to learn and grow.After losing my dear friend I have begun to examine my own life. Where can I do better? What am I supposed to learn from this? Well I'm still working on the answer, but there are some things that have revealed themselves to me. I need to seize the moment, and stop putting things off until a better time, I need to believe in myself and be more confident.I need to be a better daughter, sister and friend. I need to hold those who are dear to me closer. Life is fragile and we all tend to think that we are guaranteed tomorrow.Well, I painfully know what a flawed way of thinking that is. I have spent so much time in my life dreaming that I have sometimes forgotten to really live... no more. For example my home : I have a honey do list that never gets honey done.Leading to anger and frustration on my part.I'm letting go of the honey do list and renaming it the I can do it myself list...confidence and seizing the moment.If I dream of something no matter how big or small I will make a plan of action, implement it and get it done. Like I said I'm still working on the lessons.I'm sure more will reveal itself to me in time...but I feel like the best way to honor my friend and what we shared is to really really live and live as big as possible...for both of us.Thank you to everyone who took the time to leave me such kind condolences.It means more to me than you can ever know.